Les Miserables

So I'm reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, but I can't stop myself from thinking that the miserable one is me! Today, I was sad, and I cried, and I felt incompetent. Argh. I knew that being CNA was not going to be a walk in the park, but I didn't know that I would feel so completely lost, like a deer in the headlights. It makes me mad and sad, and just unsatisfied. I don't know if it's the NA i was paired with or my own character (probably the latter), but I feel like compared to the rest of our class, I'm way behind everyone else on my skills. Tommorow we are supposed to be taking care of two residents on our own, but how will I do it, if I haven't even toileted anyone, or changed anyones brief by myself. >.< x 10000! I guess I should be more assertive and sure of myself, but it is just so scary. I mean I'm taking care of real human beings, I can't not be scared to handle them. ):
I just hope, I can do better tommorow, but I just can't stop being freaked out. I think I only like to feed people, and walk with them. ):


PS: I and Adried took some cute pictures last friday in Seattle.